It’s highly likely that you are a helpful person by nature, but sometimes you allow people to take advantage of you, because you’re nice and you want to please them.. Stop this pattern; it’s killing your self-respect. You can be kind and nice and have boundaries. Learn to value yourself.
Think of a time that you were treated unfairly. What did that feel like? Perhaps it was your friend bringing you the wrong thing , or your mother calling and keeping you on the phone for an hour. Think about how this situation made you feel physically and emotionally. Did you want to fix it but just didn’t know what to say or were you afraid to say something in order to get what you deserved? Think about the feelings and thoughts that come up when you recognize someone is taking advantage of your time or kindness. This feeling is important, it will push you to use the following skills..Figure out what you value. Is it your free time, the gym , pub binges on the weekend? What is it you want?
Start small. Pay attention to the details. Did your taxi driver keep the meter running or your friend keep you waiting for an hour? Notice the small things that take advantage of your time, kindness, or your lack of attention. If I wouldn’t have been paying attention, the checkout girl would have unknowingly taken advantage of me, and I would have been upset with myself and her if I noticed it later on. Be aware of your interactions and if people begin to make you feel like you are being taken advantage of, then you can act
Say something, speak up for yourself. It may just be a question to confirm that your needs are being met, but their answer will also keep you feeling confident and in control. Be nice and polite when you are asking for what you want to be fixed or inquiring about it. Be assertive, you will be happier and people will respect your choices.The more you practice saying “no” or standing up for what’s right for you, the higher your self-esteem will become and your confidence will bloom .
Here are some examples:
I have other plans that I can’t change. You’ll have to find someone else to take you...
You were very late , i was waiting all this time for you......
I don't have time for those long phone calls can we keep them to 30 minutes maximum please?