If your ex has a track record of playing nice one day and nasty the next, do your best to make your interactions consistent. Regardless of how your ex behaves establish healthy boundaries for day-to-day interactions. You will feel a lot calmer when you do not let his actions affect your mood.
While it’s fine to hope that some day things will change, be realistic about your situation. Come to terms with the fact that you cannot change what your ex does, the choices they make or how they behave. Instead of turning yourself inside out, stay focused on what matters most — how you handle the conflict, the way you process the issues with your children and limiting the energy that you give to separation/divorce drama.
Respond don’t react!! Just because you share parenting responsibilities doesn’t mean you have to be at your ex’s beck and call 24/7 When a demanding text from your ex pops up on your phone, resist the impulse to rifle one back. Instead give yourself some time to consider what the issue is and if it truly requires a response.You do not need to respond to all calls or texts if you feel they are just aimed to upset you and your children.
It won’t get better overnight but when you repeatedly refuse to take the bait, expect your ex to up the ante. Do your best not to impulsively respond to situations that come up. Over time as you continue to hold your ground chances are your ex’s conflictual behavior will become less frequent and intense.With no fuel the fire will go out.
Healthy, generous people set boundaries so that they can have a separation between themselves and other people, and ultimately give more to the people who matter to them . Setting boundaries doesn’t make you a mean or unfeeling person, despite what your ex might say. Try putting it simply. You can say something like: “Now that we’re not a couple , you may not continue to call me in the middle of the night unless one of the children has an emergency.”
Dealing with a contentious ex is mentally and emotionally draining. Don’t give in to manipulation Make sure you have other supports in your life to help you go the distance when your ex is being especially difficult.
Confide in your friends and family , accept their help and support.
Tough times don't last so take it day by day and it will be a distant memory before you know it <3